She and I are not ignorant (but she and me are)

Tonight I learned that I don't like gluten-free beer. At least, not the brand I tried at the Berkley Front. Could it have anything to do with the fact that when I requested it, the bartender had to consult with the waitress and then disappear for awhile, eventually bringing it out from a mysterious room, then dusting it with his shirt before setting it down? Still, nice that they had it at all.

The dude at the next stool tried to woo my friend/coworker and me* away from our drinks with offers of more drinks and darts at the place next door. I had to laugh, wondering which overheard snippets made him all into us: the endless conversation about a mentally ill child, or the complaining about feeling old and broke? All so hot.



*I'm tired of people thinking that this should be "I" instead of "me." People have over-generalized some rule they once learned about "You and I, not you and me" to the point where I am paranoid that people think I am ignorant when I use it correctly (as above). You don't think I'm ignorant, do you?

My feet, they are cold. Almost like blocks of ice already, and it's still October. It is supposed to go down into the low 30's tonight, so I guess it makes sense. Having a house guest (the lovely Chris) motivated me, at least, to turn the heat on. Also to clean the tub and coffee maker.

I'm thinking about how nice and warm my feet were in the picture above. I was in Santa Fe, sitting by the pool at the Sunrise Springs resort. I was on a break from writing, and I had my Amy Hempel book there at the pool with me. I felt a little bit guilty reading at the pool during a designated writing time, but no one cared. We were there to write like adults, not like kids. It had to involve wine and frequent breaks in the sun or the shade. It had to involve plenty of snacks at all hours. Some people even napped, but I am not a good sleeper. Despite all this, I was productive. It was those blocks of time. Now the project I started there is almost due and I had to force myself to work on it tonight. I enjoy working on it. I always, always enjoy writing. It's just getting myself to do it. I do think it's harder when my feet are cold.

I like this picture. I like the dog wandering in (although I think it is the same one that snarled at me). Unfortunately, the junk on the roof is kind of reminiscent of some of the bank-owned houses I looked at with Chris last weekend (note to self: do not look at any more bank-owned houses). But that aside, I like this picture very much. Was I really in New Mexico in June, driving around on my own and exploring all kinds of little places? I know it was, but it seems like so long ago now.

Circus Peanut Pumpkin Dreams

That is a seasonal candy given to me this morning by a crafty student. It is made from a - you will like this - Circus Peanut. Oh, Circus Peanuts, you still exist? That is kind of gross, yet comforting in a way. I just found out that one ingredient in the Circus Peanut is pork-skin derived gelatin. Also, that some cereal dude sliced one up on his cereal and that led to Lucky Charms. Yeah, I googled "circus peanut." Anything to avoid the debate. I followed the Liveblog on Jezebel.com, and even that made my blood boil, so now I'm just going to pretend I live on Planet Circuspeanutluckycharm. There are unicorns and rainbows everywhere! And the Circus Peanuts make lovely pillows.


This is my green-on-green-on-green, etc. salad, a.k.a. tomorrow's lunch. First I cut up some Swiss Chard and massage it with a tiny bit of flax oil until it bends to my will. Then I throw on some steamed broccoli, some fava beans, some pepperoncini, and some avocado. It is delicious, and also quite pleasing in its monochromaticism. I have other things I could add, but they would ruin the color scheme.

I am up late for the recent me, but tomorrow isn't a real day, really. It's one of those days where the kids take a state-mandated test all day and I "proctor." They pretty much have to do all the thinking. I just have to tell them, "Sorry, I'm not allowed to help you with anything. Oh, you can't read the directions to the math problem? Apparently the math test is also a test of reading, because I'm not allowed to help you with that at all, according to the state. Best wishes to you."

Mean state.

My Dinner

I made an actual recipe for actual dinner tonight! I planned ahead, bought the ingredients, and followed all the steps. I am very proud. Lately I have just been eating in a way that shows very, very low expectations for myself. But it's fall, and I wanted something warm. I wanted lentil soup, specifically. I wanted to make a very typical Lebanese lentil soup, but then I found this recipe in Heidi Swanson's cookbook, Super Natural Cooking. I love her website, where she mostly tries out recipes from other cookbooks, and her book, which consists of her own recipes. I had already made the Black Tea Spring Rolls, which were awesome, although slightly unconventionally shaped due to my, um, overly creative methods. So tonight I made the Chunky Lentil Soup. The chunkiness comes from butternut squash. I had to watch an internet tutorial about how to cut a butternut squash, because all day I carried a vague anxiety, knowing I had this potentially digit-removing activity ahead of me. I like having fingers. It turns out that my usual method was correct. Cutting squash is just inherently risky. I enjoy life on the edge as usual.

Oh, the soup also has tomatoes and smoked paprika. It's super good!

Blame-placin', ma'am style

I'm kind of tired of people calling me "ma'am." I just don't believe I am a "ma'am." But if I examine the evidence....shit. No matter how long into my thirties I insist on shopping at Urban Outfitters, I am still a "ma'am," really. Just a slightly hip ma'am.

A few weeks ago, Jen and I were having a drink and they were playing Band of Horses at the bar. I recognized some of the songs (ok, mostly I recognized the one used in a commercial), and I bought the album from ITunes the next day. I love it so much. It is what I want to listen to these days. I don't even care that they gave some car company commercial rights to their song. It is just beautiful.

Reality hit me today that I have a deadline. The article I started in Santa Fe is due soon. They gave me this gorgeous, perfect writing experience for very minimal cost to me, and in return, I owe them a polished, finished product. As of a few hours ago, the article was anything but. I have been working at it diligently over the last couple of hours, though, and I think it will be OK. But what have I been doing since late June? All I can say is, it's so typical of someone whose root chakra is blocked... That, plus long-term effects of gluten poisoning, are my new excuses for everything wrong with me. Why haven't I followed through with the part-time writing thing I pursued this summer? Root chakra. Why didn't my students score better on their end-of-year writing assessments last year? I was in a gluten (pictured above) haze and couldn't properly coach them. Why can I never get anything mailed in a timely way? Obviously root chakra!

I am being facetious, but only kind of. I got confirmation of the whole gluten thing this week, and it is staggering to realize that I have been unknowingly harming my body for who knows how many years. I have always tried to be a healthy eater, but all along I was malnourished. It explains a lot of vague health problems I have had. Ugh.

Time for a fresh start.